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8/05/2015

Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy. look at that, it's exactly three seconds before i honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head. don't p!ss down my back and tell me it's raining. here she comes to wreck the day. when a naked man's chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, i figure he's not out collecting for the red cross. alrighty then brain freeze. look at that, it's exactly three seconds before i honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head. this is the ak-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of your enemy; and it makes a distinctive sound when fired at you, so remember it. good morning, oh in case i don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight. what you have to ask yourself is, do i feel lucky. well do ya' punk? well, do you have anything to say for yourself?

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Brain freeze. it's because i'm green isn't it! well, do you have anything to say for yourself? hey, maybe i will give you a call sometime. your number still 911? what you have to ask yourself is, do i feel lucky. well do ya' punk? your entrance was good, his was better. ever notice how sometimes you come across somebody you shouldn't have f**ked with? well, i'm that guy. are you feeling lucky punk you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. we're going for a ride on the information super highway. we're going for a ride on the information super highway. you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
Here. put that in your report!" and "i may have found a way out of here. i just heard about evans new position,good luck to you evan backstabber, bastard, i mean baxter. you see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns and those who dig. you dig. dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy. look ma i'm road kill man's gotta know his limitations. here she comes to wreck the day. we got no food we got no money and our pets heads are falling off! haaaaaaarry. don't p!ss down my back and tell me it's raining. kinda hot in these rhinos. good morning, oh in case i don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight. i just heard about evans new position,good luck to you evan backstabber, bastard, i mean baxter.

This is my gun, clyde! we got no food we got no money and our pets heads are falling off! haaaaaaarry. when a naked man's chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, i figure he's not out collecting for the red cross. this is my gun, clyde! your entrance was good, his was better. here. put that in your report!" and "i may have found a way out of here. this is the ak-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of your enemy; and it makes a distinctive sound when fired at you, so remember it. man's gotta know his limitations. are you feeling lucky punk look ma i'm road kill kinda hot in these rhinos. you see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns and those who dig. you dig.

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Brain freeze. here she comes to wreck the day. good morning, oh in case i don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight. kinda hot in these rhinos. excuse me, i'd like to ass you a few questions. hey, maybe i will give you a call sometime. your number still 911? i just heard about evans new position,good luck to you evan backstabber, bastard, i mean baxter. look at that, it's exactly three seconds before i honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head. alrighty then we got no food we got no money and our pets heads are falling off! haaaaaaarry. good morning, oh in case i don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight. kinda hot in these rhinos.
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Kinda hot in these rhinos. we're going for a ride on the information super highway. alrighty then here she comes to wreck the day. look at that, it's exactly three seconds before i honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head. i just heard about evans new position,good luck to you evan backstabber, bastard, i mean baxter. kinda hot in these rhinos. good morning, oh in case i don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight. hey, maybe i will give you a call sometime. your number still 911? your entrance was good, his was better. look ma i'm road kill here she comes to wreck the day.

Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy. you see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns and those who dig. you dig. it's not the size mate, it's how you use it. i want to shoot the pigeons... off my roof. you know, your bobby dangler, giggle stick, your general-two-colonels, master of ceremonies... yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look. i want to shoot the pigeons... off my roof. pull my finger! this is the ak-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of your enemy; and it makes a distinctive sound when fired at you, so remember it. here. put that in your report!" and "i may have found a way out of here. jasper: your baby is the miracle the whole world has been waiting for. you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. my lord! you're a tripod.

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Jasper: your baby is the miracle the whole world has been waiting for. don't p!ss down my back and tell me it's raining. man's gotta know his limitations. your were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. pull my finger! you are as precious to me as you were to your own mother and father. i swore to them that i would protect you, and i haven't. this is the ak-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of your enemy; and it makes a distinctive sound when fired at you, so remember it. what you have to ask yourself is, do i feel lucky. well do ya' punk? your were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. well, do you have anything to say for yourself? when i get back, remind to tell you about the time i took 100 nuns to nairobi! you wouldn't hit a man with no trousers on, would you?
At this point, i'd set you up with a chimpanzee if it'd brought you back to the world! you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! when a naked man's chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, i figure he's not out collecting for the red cross. i took a viagra, got stuck in me throat, i've had a stiff neck for hours. it's not the size mate, it's how you use it. man's gotta know his limitations. i took a viagra, got stuck in me throat, i've had a stiff neck for hours. this is my gun, clyde! yes, i used a machine gun. ever notice how sometimes you come across somebody you shouldn't have f**ked with? well, i'm that guy. are you feeling lucky punk you wouldn't hit a man with no trousers on, would you?

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What you have to ask yourself is, do i feel lucky. well do ya' punk? here. put that in your report!" and "i may have found a way out of here. when a naked man's chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, i figure he's not out collecting for the red cross. ever notice how sometimes you come across somebody you shouldn't have f**ked with? well, i'm that guy. yes, i used a machine gun. you know, your bobby dangler, giggle stick, your general-two-colonels, master of ceremonies... yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look. when i get back, remind to tell you about the time i took 100 nuns to nairobi! you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. this is my gun, clyde! you are as precious to me as you were to your own mother and father. i swore to them that i would protect you, and i haven't. my lord! you're a tripod. well, do you have anything to say for yourself?

Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk. I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

Mr. Plow

Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
  • How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
  • Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
  • A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.

Duffless

Jesus must be spinning in his grave! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie "The Never Ending Story."

The Last Temptation of Homer

I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about! I was saying "Boo-urns."
  1. Save me, Jeebus.
  2. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?
  3. Please do not offer my god a peanut.
  4. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.
Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.

Image courtesy : AndroidCentral.com


Revenge of the Sitheloeone

The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. Don't underestimate the Force. Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you're going. Dantooine. They're on Dantooine. Look, I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money. Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.

A New Hopelz

Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone. You don't believe in the Force, do you?
  • Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.
  • But with the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed to fight?
  • Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them.
  • Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone.

Rebel Mission to Ord Mantella

He is here. Don't underestimate the Force. I'm trying not to, kid.

The Battle for Endorois

Partially, but it also obeys your commands. I'm surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself. What good is a reward if you ain't around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain't my idea of courage. It's more like…suicide. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck.
  1. I don't know what you're talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan--
  2. But with the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed to fight?
  3. I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing.
Revenge of the Sitheleone
Red Five standing by. What?! In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. What good is a reward if you ain't around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain't my idea of courage. It's more like…suicide. You're all clear, kid. Let's blow this thing and go home! Don't underestimate the Force.

8/03/2015


Utopia

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. Saving the world with meals on wheels. I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!

Blink

I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don't know why. No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. You've swallowed a planet!
  • It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'!
  • You've swallowed a planet!
  • You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

The Doctor's Wife

You hit me with a cricket bat. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? Aw, you're all Mr. Grumpy Face today. Did I mention we have comfy chairs?

The Long Game

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!
  1. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me!
  2. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?
  3. It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'!
  4. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?
Tooth and Claw
You hit me with a cricket bat. No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister. You hit me with a cricket bat. No… It's a thing; it's like a plan, but with more greatness. It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'!

8/03/2015


I Dated a Robot

Take me to your leader! You mean while I'm sleeping in it? Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.

The Cyber House Rules

No! Don't jump! Your best is an idiot! Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you! Then we'll go with that data file!
  • You guys go on without me! I'm going to go… look for more stuff to steal!
  • Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.
  • I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.
  • And I'm his friend Jesus.

Where No Fan Has Gone Before

I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. You know, I was God once. With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Meh.

The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz

It's a T. It goes "tuh". I had more, but you go ahead. Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There's only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
  1. And I'm his friend Jesus.
  2. The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
  3. Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk!
Bender Gets Made
I suppose I could part with 'one' and still be feared… You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? And remember, don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it! Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?! Is the Space Pope reptilian!? Say it in Russian!


"Nay, sir, not yet; I do entreat. And I do dare, sir—to be forbearing! Shall we not understand each other better than hitherto, Captain Ahab?"

Heading Here

Ahab seized a loaded musket from the rack (forming part of most South-Sea-men's cabin furniture), and pointing it towards Starbuck, exclaimed: "There is one God that is Lord over the earth, and one Captain that is lord over the Pequod.—On deck!"
For an instant in the flashing eyes of the mate, and his fiery cheeks, you would have almost thought that he had really received the blaze of the levelled tube. But, mastering his emotion, he half calmly rose, and as he quitted the cabin, paused for an instant and said: "Thou hast outraged, not insulted me, sir; but for that I ask thee not to beware of Starbuck; thou wouldst but laugh; but let Ahab beware of Ahab; beware of thyself, old man."

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"He waxes brave, but nevertheless obeys; most careful bravery that!" murmured Ahab, as Starbuck disappeared. "What's that he said—Ahab beware of Ahab—there's something there!" Then unconsciously using the musket for a staff, with an iron brow he paced to and fro in the little cabin; but presently the thick plaits of his forehead relaxed, and returning the gun to the rack, he went to the deck.
"Thou art but too good a fellow, Starbuck," he said lowly to the mate; then raising his voice to the crew: "Furl the t'gallant-sails, and close-reef the top-sails, fore and aft; back the main-yard; up Burton, and break out in the main-hold."

Minor Heading Here

It were perhaps vain to surmise exactly why it was, that as respecting Starbuck, Ahab thus acted. It may have been a flash of honesty in him; or mere prudential policy which, under the circumstance, imperiously forbade the slightest symptom of open disaffection, however transient, in the important chief officer of his ship. However it was, his orders were executed; and the Burtons were hoisted.
Upon searching, it was found that the casks last struck into the hold were perfectly sound, and that the leak must be further off. So, it being calm weather, they broke out deeper and deeper, disturbing the slumbers of the huge ground-tier butts; and from that black midnight sending those gigantic moles into the daylight above. So deep did they go; and so ancient, and corroded, and weedy the aspect of the lowermost puncheons, that you almost looked next for some mouldy corner-stone cask containing coins of Captain Noah, with copies of the posted placards, vainly warning the infatuated old world from the flood. Tierce after tierce, too, of water, and bread, and beef, and shooks of staves, and iron bundles of hoops, were hoisted out, till at last the piled decks were hard to get about; and the hollow hull echoed under foot, as if you were treading over empty catacombs, and reeled and rolled in the sea like an air-freighted demijohn. Top-heavy was the ship as a dinnerless student with all Aristotle in his head. Well was it that the Typhoons did not visit them then.
Now, at this time it was that my poor pagan companion, and fast bosom-friend, Queequeg, was seized with a fever, which brought him nigh to his endless end.
Be it said, that in this vocation of whaling, sinecures are unknown; dignity and danger go hand in hand; till you get to be Captain, the higher you rise the harder you toil. So with poor Queequeg, who, as harpooneer, must not only face all the rage of the living whale, but—as we have elsewhere seen—mount his dead back in a rolling sea; and finally descend into the gloom of the hold, and bitterly sweating all day in that subterraneous confinement, resolutely manhandle the clumsiest casks and see to their stowage. To be short, among whalemen, the harpooneers are the holders, so called.
Poor Queequeg! when the ship was about half disembowelled, you should have stooped over the hatchway, and peered down upon him there; where, stripped to his woollen drawers, the tattooed savage was crawling about amid that dampness and slime, like a green spotted lizard at the bottom of a well. And a well, or an ice-house, it somehow proved to him, poor pagan; where, strange to say, for all the heat of his sweatings, he caught a terrible chill which lapsed into a fever; and at last, after some days' suffering, laid him in his hammock, close to the very sill of the door of death. How he wasted and wasted away in those few long-lingering days, till there seemed but little left of him but his frame and tattooing. But as all else in him thinned, and his cheek-bones grew sharper, his eyes, nevertheless, seemed growing fuller and fuller; they became of a strange softness of lustre; and mildly but deeply looked out at you there from his sickness, a wondrous testimony to that immortal health in him which could not die, or be weakened. And like circles on the water, which, as they grow fainter, expand; so his eyes seemed rounding and rounding, like the rings of Eternity. An awe that cannot be named would steal over you as you sat by the side of this waning savage, and saw as strange things in his face, as any beheld who were bystanders when Zoroaster died. For whatever is truly wondrous and fearful in man, never yet was put into words or books. And the drawing near of Death, which alike levels all, alike impresses all with a last revelation, which only an author from the dead could adequately tell. So that—let us say it again—no dying Chaldee or Greek had higher and holier thoughts than those, whose mysterious shades you saw creeping over the face of poor Queequeg, as he quietly lay in his swaying hammock, and the rolling sea seemed gently rocking him to his final rest, and the ocean's invisible flood-tide lifted him higher and higher towards his destined heaven.